Are Schools Failing Our Boys? (Part 1)
Understanding the Struggles Boys Face in Schools.
Are schools failing our boys?
That question sits at the center of Episode 2 of I Demand a Meeting, where Jesse and I continue the conversation by taking an honest look at why so many boys struggle in today’s schools and what the education system may be getting wrong.
Before diving in, I want to say thank you. The response to our first episode has been incredibly encouraging. In just the first week, Episode 1: The End of Homework? surpassed 9,000 views on YouTube and 10+ hours of watch time, largely through short clips shared across platforms, and we welcomed more than 60 new subscribers. I am genuinely grateful for the support, the messages, and the thoughtful conversations that have already emerged from the pilot episode.
Boys Are Wired Differently (by God’s Design)
In this episode, Jesse and I explore how traits like energy, impulsivity, competitiveness, and physicality, qualities often labeled as problems, are actually central to how boys learn and develop. Too often, modern schooling rewards compliance over creativity and stillness over initiative, leaving many boys feeling misunderstood and disengaged.
Boys tend to thrive when given responsibility, challenge, and purpose. When those needs are not met, many internalize a sense of failure early, not because they lack ability, but because they do not fit the system as it is currently designed.
This conversation is not about lowering expectations or excusing behavior. It is about raising our understanding.
If we want boys to flourish academically and socially, educators and parents must be willing to rethink systems, structures, and incentives and create environments that honor boys’ unique gifts and developmental needs.
Listen In and Share
🎧 Episode 2 is available now on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
If you are a teacher, school leader, or parent, I invite you to listen and to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. These are conversations worth having on our campuses and in our homes.
Overview of Episode 2
Section 1: The Landscape of Boys in Education
Jesse and Jared initiate their conversation by posing a thought-provoking question: “If you asked a group of teachers who their most difficult student has been, how many would describe a boy?” This sets the tone for a candid discussion about the educational experiences of boys. Jared shares alarming statistics, noting that boys make up a staggering 75-80% of all expulsions and suspensions in public schools. This raises the question: Are we failing boys in the educational system?
The evidence shows a clear trend. In private schools, the statistics are similarly skewed, with boys representing the vast majority of disciplinary actions. Jesse highlights that in his years of experience, he can count the number of girls expelled on one hand, indicating a systemic issue that disproportionately affects boys.
Section 2: The Unique Traits of Boys
One of the core discussions revolves around the unique characteristics of boys. Jesse and Jared agree that traits such as impulsivity, energy, and curiosity often lead teachers to label boys as problematic. For instance, boys tend to be more physical and tactile in their learning styles, which can clash with traditional educational methods that prioritize stillness and quiet.
Jared emphasizes the importance of understanding that these traits are not negative but rather part of a boy’s natural development. He encourages educators and parents alike to recognize that boys are designed to lead, work hard, and thrive when their unique needs are met. This perspective reframes the conversation around boys’ behavior, shifting from a focus on discipline to one of understanding and support.
Section 3: The Systemic Challenges
Jesse and Jared dive deeper into the systemic issues within the American educational framework. The traditional model often favors girls, creating an environment where boys feel they do not belong. The podcast discusses how the structure of classrooms—sitting still, following rules, and adhering to a strict curriculum—often stifles boys’ natural tendencies.
They reference historical shifts in educational expectations, noting that the pressure placed on young boys today is significantly higher than in previous decades. This shift leads to negative self-perceptions among boys, who often internalize their struggles as personal failures. Jesse poignantly states that many boys feel like failures not because they lack capability, but because they do not fit the conformist educational mold.
Section 4: The Role of Educators and Parents
The conversation takes a reflective turn as Jesse and Jared discuss the role of educators and parents in nurturing boys’ development. They stress the need for a systemic overhaul that takes into account boys’ unique learning styles and developmental needs. Jared urges educators to reconsider their reward systems, which often favor compliance over creativity, leading to feelings of inadequacy among boys who do not fit the mold.
Furthermore, they highlight the importance of communication and support from both teachers and parents. Boys need encouragement and affirmation that their traits are valuable and that their challenges are recognized and understood. By fostering an environment that celebrates their strengths, boys can thrive academically and socially.
Conclusion: Key Takeaways
In summary, the podcast “I Demand a Meeting” sheds light on the pressing challenges boys face in the education system. It calls for greater awareness among educators and parents regarding the unique needs of boys, emphasizing that traditional educational models may not serve them well. By understanding the traits that make boys unique and advocating for systemic changes, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all students.
Tags: Boys in Education, Challenges in Education, Educational Reform, Understanding Boys, Parenting Boys, Teacher Insights, Education Podcast, Learning Styles, Classroom Management, Educational Statistics
I have heard the point made that church experiences are structured for a traditional women’s bend or wiring….. the same is true here with school. The school experience is structured for traditional women’s bend or wiring. But schools have both boys and girls….yes….. but which gender traditionally teaches and spends the day with the children ? A woman. It is very rare to find a male kindergarten or first grade teacher. They are out there… but it’s rare. In early American days it was more common to find a young woman teacher in the one room school house and the male teachers tended to work in the systems version of college back then because it paid more to be bread winners. So… as traditions for “ how to do school” developed, it was largely women who were shaping these traditions and what it looks like in the classroom. The problem with that is the relatability regarding how it actually feels to be a little boy… she doesn’t remember because she never was one. So… if it seems reasonable that a boy should be able to do A, B, or C, because she was able to do it when she was little it’s completely discounting the fact that the boy is having a completely different soul experience in how he is relating to his reality than the teacher did when she was a little girl. So, reason then sets in that the standard of “ normal” is how the girls are experiencing their reality and something is “ wrong” if the boys can’t show up in that shared world, the same way. This is a very narrow view of the attempted reasoning to simplify the human childhood experience to one flat standard of normal when the measurement of what normal is, is being measured by female women ( the teachers spending the whole day with the children). The boys are showing up in this shared world experience, a valid normal way for how God wired them. They are built to be men after all and men are wired to survive and be protectors in this crazy, crazy unpredictable fallen world and have the physical endurance to endure when it won’t always be peaceful in society. So, if the purpose of school is to prepare students for the culture in which God has placed us, we can first be so thankful that we can even be doing school in this land that clearly isn’t stricken by war. Then second of all recognize that while yes students need to be prepared with the knowledge and habits to function successfully in the business /marketplace of our society, there is usually more than one way to do something. And… the girls way… is not the best way just because she is a girl. Both different ways can be valid. The more we can let the boys be boys and the girls be girls without projecting manufactured expectations on them, the clearer they will be free to know their true identity in Christ as a boy.. or a girl. God made them male and female to each inherit the earth as image bearers with both genders bringing valuable qualities that reflect the heart of God. Doing so would communicate a more healthy biblical world view for students who are looking to adults in their life to show them what is true. So when a school structure can create a safe space for both genders to know they have a shared purpose when living before God, there is a stronger sense of patience, cooperation, and teamwork that can be fostered in the classroom experience, and for each child to experience their worth and value… just the way God designed them.