Leading Schools Without Losing Your Soul
Leadership, burnout, and learning to live under the easy yoke of Christ.
This is my 13th year serving in some type of school leadership role. Most of those years have been in Christian education. After beginning my career as a secondary math teacher and coach, I eventually moved into leadership roles that included instructional leader, principal, assistant head of school, and head of school.
One thing I have learned over the years is that leadership can absolutely wear on you if you are not careful. That is, between the ears, so to speak.
Schools are deeply relational organizations. Every day involves people, emotions, expectations, conflict, conversations, decisions, and problems that need attention. There are students who need support, parents who want answers, teachers who are overwhelmed, budgets that need balancing, enrollment concerns, staffing decisions, and organizational challenges that rarely fit neatly into a spreadsheet. At times, leadership can feel like carrying around a low-level sense of tension that never fully shuts off.
And honestly, people are just crazy at times.
If you are reading this near the end of the school year, there is a decent chance you have at least thought about walking away from education once or twice this year. Maybe you are simply tired. Maybe you are frustrated with the constant pressure that leadership brings. Maybe you are ready for a different environment, or perhaps you are nearing retirement and wondering if you have the energy to keep doing this work much longer.
One of the hardest lessons I have personally had to learn is that I cannot hold everything together by my own strength. As leaders, especially in Christian education, it is easy to quietly believe that if we just work harder, think more strategically, communicate better, or stay ahead of every issue, we can somehow force stability into existence.
Over time, I began realizing that leadership eventually exposes those assumptions. No matter how hard you work, there will still be people who disagree with your decisions. Someone will misunderstand your intentions. Someone will leave unhappy. You cannot completely control organizational outcomes, nor can you carry the emotional weight of every person around you.
At some point, I had to stop viewing myself as the person responsible for making everything happen. Instead, I began learning what it means to participate with God in His work rather than trying to manage everything through my own striving.
I think this is part of what Scripture is getting at in passages like 2 Peter 1:5-7 where believers are called to “make every effort” to grow in godliness, self-control, perseverance, and love. The Christian life is not passive. Growth requires action from the follower of Christ. Formation requires training.
For several years, I found myself constantly dealing with what I would describe as mental gymnastics. Replaying conversations in my head. Occasional panic attacks. Anticipating conflict before it happened. Carrying difficult meetings home with me. Feeling mentally overstimulated from the constant noise that comes with organizational leadership.
Eventually, I realized that I could not simply pray my way out of unhealthy patterns while neglecting my body and mind. If I wanted to lead people well over the long haul, I needed to put myself in a position where I could become calmer, more present, and emotionally healthier.
Over the last couple of years, weightlifting a few times a week and taking a daily 45–60 minute evening walk have become important rhythms in my life. These are not spiritual accomplishments, nor are they magic solutions to stress. However, they are practices that help quiet my mind, regulate my emotions, and allow me to become more fully present with both God and other people.
Dallas Willard often described spiritual formation as training rather than trying. Many leaders spend years simply trying harder while slowly becoming emotionally exhausted underneath the surface. But healthy training changes us over time.
As this school year comes to a close, I would encourage you to consider what practices might help you become more grounded physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Perhaps for you it is exercise, walking, better sleep, reading, silence, prayer, counseling, or simply learning how to create healthier rhythms in your life.
Whatever it is, do not ignore your soul.
Education needs leaders who are wise, calm, emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy, and fully present. Let’s do what is under our control and let Jesus carry the easy yoke today.