5 Ways Schools Can Help Boys
Supporting Boys Through Movement, Challenge, and Mentorship
In Episode 3 of I Demand a Meeting, Jesse and I shift from diagnosing the challenges boys face in school to naming practical ways schools can respond.
We argue that boys are not inherently problematic, but often mismatched with traditional educational models. This episode focuses on concrete strategies schools can implement right now, including reintroducing movement and physical activity into the school day, embracing healthy competition, establishing clear structures and boundaries, and increasing male presence on campus.
From longer recess and movement breaks, even at the high school level, to gamifying lessons and providing strong male mentors, we explore how schools can create environments where boys are supported, engaged, and challenged to thrive rather than simply comply.
And be sure to stay tuned for Episode 4, where we’ll be joined by an excellent author for a thoughtful and timely conversation on the I Demand a Meeting podcast.
Thank you for listening and sharing!
5 Ways Schools Can Help Boys: Response to Episode 3.
I gotta say…as a female the phrase “I betcha can’t”, kinda hurts my brain.:) But.. my brain isn’t male, as it shouldn't be. Thus, as a co-image bearer of Christ, I can learn that something is true, without personally experiencing it to be true. However, it does seem valid for me to gain more detailed knowledge on an issue, before landing on a final decision and comfort level in personally using the phrase in clear conscience, when it does not come “natural” for me to do so. Thus, in the spirit of participating in this “Meeting”, I researched some psychology regarding the phrase, and some possible outcomes, and implications. I felt it would be fun to share my findings and thoughts here. As always, thanks guys, for providing such thought provoking content. ;)
PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND " I BETCHA CAN"T..."
A. It activates the following psychological triggers:
1. Gamification/Playful Competition:
The fact that it phrases the task as a game or dare rather than a demand changes how it is perceived. It triggers perception of
-excitement
-stakes
-A win or lose feeling
“Do this”= pressure/anxiety
“Betcha can’t”= Challenge + fun. Resistance is lowered while still motivating the action.
The awesome factor of gamification (as mentioned on the show) for anything at school, is that the more the structures and culture can include it into the flow of the school day, the more efficient learning will be, given time taken for learning the skill. Using the phrase, triggers similar short term results of gamification, as gamification falls into the research done regarding play and learning. In general, learning through "play" does not need to be only thought of for little kids. Play involves the concept of “fun, curiosity, challenge”. So… the more an activity is perceived as “fun, challenging, activating curiosity”, the more motivation to give mental energy to it, becomes intrinsic. This reduces the number of times the fun activity needs repeated for content mastery, however, until mastery, they are more likely to want to repeat the activity until mastery.
Play engages motivation, curiosity, and active problem solving. This active engagement
encodes the skill into long term memory with fewer repetitions. It also triggers multiple learning pathways involving motor, cognitive,social, and emotional learning simultaneously. This creates a sense of it being experienced rather than passively received.
In a broader scope of gamification applied to time spent learning, curriculum based schools, rather than skills based, for how grades are received, limits how time can be devoted to gamified activities that practice each skill vs. workbooks already paid for by schools with perceived pressure to “get through” before the year is over. This ultimately stifles the creativity a teacher feels they even have time to implement to just the concept of learning through fun vs. doing particular pieces of paper because those are the traditional items that must be graded to give a score in the grade book. When schools can change the structure to be skills based instead of curriculum based when grades are reported, it will free up more classrooms to meet the needs of the particular people in the room, to do whatever might be helpful for them to learn and show that they know how to do a skill.
2. Reactance (the urge to prove freedom)-
When someone feels their ability is being doubted or limited, it can trigger a psychological reactance- a push to prove the opposite. Challenging a male in this way subtly challenges autonomy, which can make someone want to reclaim control by doing the thing.
This would explain why positive behavior supports strategies in schools that focus on the particular phrasing in a positive way have not worked in the way it was intended. When it’s phrased positively it’s actually triggering the male to want to prove they are not going to “let” someone tell them what to do. They are told to walk. The directive implies “obedience” which implies loss of autonomy. If they came up with it on their own, that is different than someone telling them they have to do it ... .someone is trying to control them from the outside. Initially using “I betcha can’t…..” with a behavioral goal might trigger an inclination to give it a shot and build some playful camaraderie. Over time if it becomes a failure every time, then a new approach would be needed to foster long term success.
3. Competence and Identity Signaling (especially in boys/men).
Many males value: Competence, Strength, and Winning (proving themselves).
This gets into the idea of reputation. This “I betcha can’t” statement, challenges the concept: “Are you capable or not?”. This is like a status challenge. It also makes something simple, as sounding like risky behavior when it might not be, but the feeling of it triggers buy in…as if there is something to conquer. “It must not be something most guys can do if the adult is saying they bet I can’t…watch me prove them wrong” Then intrinsically the person automatically tells themselves they can do it, then gives it their best shot. If failure does happen, it’s more like, “shoot…I guess I was wrong today about this. I could have done better if I had time to (train, study, prepare). I’m going to do those things and give it another go. I’ve got this”. This self-talk to motivation, is more powerful than external voice, because the intrinsic motivation preserves the autonomous integrity that the person made it happen..(not an outside voice). The person internally gets to keep all the credit for the achievement. The achievement of being “capable” (the identity part).
B. Overall there are several factors to consider, with the use of “I betcha can’t...”, since it initially relies on creating a psychological “trigger”.
It seems fantastic for an ice breaker to introduce new skills, content introduction, or “mixing it up” to bring awareness to behavior and their actual abilities when they perceive they are trying their best. If they fail at the challenge, it was a new challenge so there is always the concept that “of course I could not do it….it was a new challenge anyway”. The fact that it was low stakes allows the student to internally save face in spite of the “failure” to the challenge. Long term it might intrinsically motivate the person to do whatever they need to do to grow in that area. At this point then it is not because of an outside challenge, but now just to prove it to themselves. Hence, intrinsic motivation vs. outside force (which is more beneficial long term).
The tricky part about this being used as a “trigger” is it relies on making sure it’s used when a goal is attainable by the student. When it does end up being out of reach, too many times, it’s like “coming in the back door” as too much pressure, instead of intrinsic motivation. If the challenger keeps being right that the student could not in fact do it, just as was said, it becomes defeating. Over time it can create defensiveness and apathy that the challenger is correct…they can’t do it….why should they try.The perception of it being a fair challenge is diminished and Intrinsic confidence becomes deflated. In regards to this risk, I personally am never one to “throw the baby out with the bathwater”. Context is always the key in most things in life. If it’s Low Stakes/ Low Risk the reactance stays playful instead of defensive. I do believe the challengers would be called to use wisdom when deciding upon the phrased usage. Especially since its use for short-term engagement works great for small bursts of motivation.
C. Wrapping it Up:
In my opinion, other strategies and institutional structures discussed on this show are most beneficial for long term growth and sustainability of habits or responsibilities, but the phrase “I betcha can’t” has great merit to add more zest to the day when it is handled with care. I look forward to giving it a try with boys in the future. :)