One thing I have learned over the years is that leadership can absolutely wear on you if you are not careful. That is, between the ears, so to speak.

Schools are deeply relational organizations. Every day involves people, emotions, expectations, conflict, conversations, decisions, and problems that need attention. There are students who need support, parents who want answers, teachers who are overwhelmed, budgets that need balancing, enrollment concerns, staffing decisions, and organizational challenges that rarely fit neatly into a spreadsheet. At times, leadership can feel like carrying around a low-level sense of tension that never fully shuts off.

And honestly, people are just crazy at times.

If you are reading this near the end of the school year, there is a decent chance you have at least thought about walking away from education once or twice this year. Maybe you are simply tired. Maybe you are frustrated with the constant pressure that leadership brings. Maybe you are ready for a different environment, or perhaps you are nearing retirement and wondering if you have the energy to keep doing this work much longer.

One of the hardest lessons I have personally had to learn is that I cannot hold everything together by my own strength. As leaders, especially in Christian education, it is easy to quietly believe that if we just work harder, think more strategically, communicate better, or stay ahead of every issue, we can somehow force stability into existence.

Over time, I began realizing that leadership eventually exposes those assumptions. No matter how hard you work, there will still be people who disagree with your decisions. Someone will misunderstand your intentions. Someone will leave unhappy. You cannot completely control organizational outcomes, nor can you carry the emotional weight of every person around you.

At some point, I had to stop viewing myself as the person responsible for making everything happen. Instead, I began learning what it means to participate with God in His work rather than trying to manage everything through my own striving.

I think this is part of what Scripture is getting at in passages like 2 Peter 1:5-7 where believers are called to “make every effort” to grow in godliness, self-control, perseverance, and love. The Christian life is not passive. Growth requires action from the follower of Christ. Formation requires training.

For several years, I found myself constantly dealing with what I would describe as mental gymnastics. Replaying conversations in my head. Occasional panic attacks. Anticipating conflict before it happened. Carrying difficult meetings home with me. Feeling mentally overstimulated from the constant noise that comes with organizational leadership.

Eventually, I realized that I could not simply pray my way out of unhealthy patterns while neglecting my body and mind. If I wanted to lead people well over the long haul, I needed to put myself in a position where I could become calmer, more present, and emotionally healthier.

Over the last couple of years, weightlifting a few times a week and taking a daily 45–60 minute evening walk have become important rhythms in my life. These are not spiritual accomplishments, nor are they magic solutions to stress. However, they are practices that help quiet my mind, regulate my emotions, and allow me to become more fully present with both God and other people.

Dallas Willard often described spiritual formation as training rather than trying. Many leaders spend years simply trying harder while slowly becoming emotionally exhausted underneath the surface. But healthy training changes us over time.

As this school year comes to a close, I would encourage you to consider what practices might help you become more grounded physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Perhaps for you it is exercise, walking, better sleep, reading, silence, prayer, counseling, or simply learning how to create healthier rhythms in your life.

Whatever it is, do not ignore your soul.

Education needs leaders who are wise, calm, emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy, and fully present. Let’s do what is under our control and let Jesus carry the easy yoke today.

Leadership often brings circumstances we cannot control. But Willard’s example reminds us that peace is not found in managing outcomes, but in trusting God’s presence.

Grounded in John 14:27, this reflection considers what it looks like for leaders to step into that reality and lead with steadiness, clarity, and peace.

May your leadership be a blessing today.

That alone raises a question. What does this mean for how we share and receive information?

And if AI can generate answers this easily, what does that mean for how we measure learning?

Maybe the focus shifts from what students produc to how they think.

Teachers that create learning environments that are engaging and present real-time demonstrations of learning.

How does this impact your own understanding of how we teach and learn?

Jesus says in John 8:12, “I am the light of the world.” But through Christ, that light now dwells in us. As leaders, we are placed in a specific time and place that is unique to us, and that placement is not accidental.

Grounded in Genesis 1:26, this reflection considers what it means to carry responsibility under God. To lead, to create, and to steward what has been entrusted to us for good.

So what happens if we are not the light in the places God has called us?

May your leadership be a blessing today.

Tools that can explain concepts, generate content, and personalize learning are now available to every student and teacher. That raises an important question.

So, what is education actually for?

In Episode 12 of I Demand A Meeting, Jesse and I explore what AI means for personalization, teaching, assessment, and the role of educators.

1. AI Is a Tool, Not the Teacher

AI can support instruction, generate ideas, and help personalize learning. Students now have access to immediate explanations and feedback in ways that were not possible before.

But AI cannot replace the role of a teacher.

Education is not only about information. It is about formation. Teachers mentor, guide, and help students develop wisdom, character, and discernment. That work becomes more important in an AI-driven world.

2. Personalization Is Now Expected

For years, schools have talked about differentiation. AI is now making that possible.

Students can learn at different paces and receive targeted support. Parents are beginning to expect this level of personalization.

This creates both opportunity and responsibility. Schools must be intentional in how these tools are used so they support learning rather than distract from it.

3. Rethinking Assessment

AI is also forcing schools to rethink assessment.

When students can generate answers, traditional assignments become less reliable measures of understanding. This does not mean learning has decreased. It means our methods must change.

Assessment needs to move toward real-time demonstrations of learning such as discussions, written explanations, and in-class work. These approaches better reflect what students actually know and can do.

4. The Role of the Teacher Is Expanding

As AI handles more of the informational side of learning, the role of the teacher continues to shift.

Teachers become mentors and guides who help students think critically, ask better questions, and apply what they are learning. They also help students navigate the responsible use of technology.

This moment does not reduce the need for teachers. It increases it.

Final Thought

AI is changing education, but it does not change the purpose of education.

Schools still exist to form students who think, grow, and live with wisdom and responsibility.

The question is not whether AI will be used. It already is.

The question is whether schools will use it in a way that supports real learning.

Leadership often centers on strategy, systems, and outcomes. But Willard challenges us to consider a deeper reality. What would our schools, churches, and organizations look like if obedience to Jesus became natural and routine?

Grounded in John 14:15, this reflection considers how leadership is shaped not just by what we do, but by who we are becoming. When leaders are formed by Christ and consistently live out His teachings, that formation begins to influence the culture of the entire organization.

May your leadership be a blessing today.

Leadership in this season is full. There are decisions to make, conversations to have, and responsibilities that continue to grow. It is easy for our minds to become consumed with everything in front of us.

But Willard reminds us that trust in the Lord begins with our thoughts being shaped by Him.

Grounded in Colossians 3:1–2, this reflection challenges leaders to consider whether their minds are being carried by the pressure of leadership or anchored in the presence of Christ.

May your leadership be a blessing today.

Why is change in schools so difficult?

Most educators want to improve. Leaders cast vision, new ideas are introduced, and yet meaningful change often moves slowly or stalls altogether.

In Episode 11 of I Demand A Meeting, Jesse and I explore why that happens and what it takes for schools to move forward.

1. Change Is Harder Than We Think

One of the most honest realities we discussed is that people naturally resist change. As Jesse noted, our bodies seek equilibrium. We are wired to stay with what is familiar.

Jared added that we don’t want to change because most believe there is no reason to change. We’re happy with the way things are.

This shows up in schools every day. Even if and when better approaches are introduced, hesitation follows, not because teachers lack care or commitment, but because change requires stepping into uncertainty. Fear of the unknown is often the greatest barrier.

2. Vision Must Be Shared

Because change is difficult, vision must be shared, not just stated.

It is not enough for leaders to know where they want to go. Teachers and staff need to understand it, believe in it, and see how it connects to their daily work. When that connection is missing, change feels like another initiative. When it is clear, it becomes a collective effort.

In schools with strong history and culture, this alignment matters even more. New ideas must reinforce the mission rather than compete with it.

3. Culture Shapes the Pace

Every school has a culture that shapes how change unfolds.

Some schools are ready to move quickly, while others require a slower, more relational approach. Ignoring this reality can cause even strong ideas to fail. Understanding the people, history, and relationships within a school allows leaders to introduce change in a way that fits the context.

Effective leadership adapts to culture rather than working against it.

4. Start Small to Build Momentum

One of the most practical strategies is to start small.

Rather than attempting large-scale change all at once, leaders can begin with a pilot group. These teachers can test ideas, refine practices, and demonstrate what is possible within the school’s own context.

As results become visible, trust grows. People are more willing to engage when they can see change working in real classrooms.

5. Growth Requires Trust and Discomfort

Change is not only structural. It is relational.

Teachers need support as they try new approaches, which requires trust, clear communication, and space to grow. It also requires a willingness to step into discomfort.

When leaders model vulnerability and a commitment to growth, they create an environment where others can do the same. This is where meaningful change begins.

Final Thought

Rethinking academics is not just about new strategies but about leading change well. A shared vision, an awareness of culture, and a willingness to start small all contribute to lasting progress.

When these elements are present, schools are better positioned to grow and serve students well, helping them develop the knowledge, wisdom, and responsibility needed for what lies ahead.

As we move through Holy Week and approach Easter, we are reminded of the hope found in Jesus’ words in John 11:25–26, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me, even if he dies, will live. Everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.”

Much of leadership is often driven by fear. Fear of outcomes. Fear of failure. Fear of how others will respond. Fear of losing approval or control.

But if Christ has overcome even death, then fear no longer needs to drive how we lead.

This reflection explores how freedom from fear allows leaders to move beyond control and anxiety, and instead lead with courage, clarity, and trust in God’s work regardless of the outcome.

May your leadership be a blessing today.

Many people go through life without ever feeling fully heard. In leadership, it is easy to default to fixing problems, giving direction, and trying to straighten things out. But Willard reminds us that the first act of love is attention.

This reflection considers how listening communicates value, builds trust, and allows us to truly receive people. It also clarifies that listening does not mean agreement or giving in to every demand, but rather taking the time to understand before responding.

Grounded in James 1:19, this episode challenges leaders to slow down, ask better questions, and lead with patience and presence.

May your leadership be a blessing today.

Many schools are working hard. Teachers are committed. Leaders are pushing for better outcomes. Yet results often remain inconsistent because the system itself has not changed.

In Episode 10 of I Demand A Meeting, Jesse and I step back and look at what it really takes to move toward learner-centered classrooms. This is not about adding more to teachers’ plates. It is about rethinking how learning is structured, measured, and sustained.

1. Mastery Changes Everything

One of the most important shifts is rethinking mastery.

Allowing students multiple opportunities to demonstrate mastery reinforces genuine understanding. When students know they can improve, they are more likely to stay engaged, take ownership, and persist through challenges.

This approach strengthens both accuracy and motivation. Students are not simply chasing points. They are working toward understanding.

In practice, this means using mastery-based assessments supported by clear scoring guides so students know what proficiency looks like and how to reach it.

2. Separate Academic Learning from Character or Behavior Development

Another key shift is how we think about accountability.

Academic grades should reflect what a student knows and can do. At the same time, character traits such as responsibility, effort, and timeliness still matter.

When these are blended together, grades lose clarity.

A stronger approach is to report them separately. This creates more precise feedback and allows schools to pursue both excellence and character formation without confusing the two.

3. Learning Is Constant, Time Is the Variable

This idea continues to anchor the conversation.

In traditional systems, time is fixed and learning varies. In a learner-centered model, learning becomes the constant while time becomes more flexible.

This does not lower expectations. It raises them.

Students are expected to reach mastery, but they may take different paths to get there through flexible pacing, targeted support, and opportunities to revisit learning.

4. Feedback Drives Growth

If mastery is the goal, feedback becomes essential.

Students improve when they receive timely and specific feedback that helps them understand what they are doing well and what needs to change. This is where much of the real learning happens.

Small groups, check-ins, and formative assessments all create opportunities for this kind of feedback. Over time, students begin to take ownership of their progress because they clearly understand what success looks like.

5. Teacher Workflows Make It Sustainable

One of the most practical insights from this conversation is that teacher workflows determine whether these ideas succeed.

It is easy to talk about differentiation and mastery. It is much harder to implement them consistently.

Simple, repeatable structures matter. Small groups, clear routines, and manageable grading practices help teachers stay consistent without becoming overwhelmed.

Sustainable change depends on systems that support teachers, not just students.

6. Start Small and Build Momentum

Change rarely happens all at once.

Instead of overhauling everything, schools can begin with small pilot groups. These teachers can test ideas, refine practices, and provide real examples for others to follow.

Clear communication is critical. When leaders share what is being tested and what is being learned, it builds trust and momentum across the school.

7. Empower Students to Own Their Learning

As classrooms become more learner-centered, students take a more active role.

They track their progress, respond to feedback, and reflect on their learning. They are not just completing assignments. They are learning how to think, communicate, and grow.

This is what prepares students for life beyond school.

Final Thought

Reimagining education is not about chasing trends. It is about better design.

High standards, clear expectations, meaningful feedback, and sustainable practices help schools move toward real learning.

And ultimately, that is the goal. To help students grow in knowledge, wisdom, and responsibility in the places God has called them to serve.

Before we begin, one quick note. If you’ve listened to my previous Christian Education and Leadership reflections, those were an AI voice (maybe not such a great one?). This one is actually me. My real voice. No AI voice involved.

This is part of a new weekly series of brief 3–5 minute reflections connecting the wisdom of Dallas Willard with biblical leadership and the realities of leading in Christian education and ministry.

In this first episode of Willard’s Wisdom for Leaders, I play a short clip from Dallas Willard and reflect on what it means for leaders who feel the pressure to constantly fix problems, improve systems, and make things happen.

Dallas Willard has had a profound impact on my own spiritual development and leadership, and I hope you’ll be encouraged as well.

May your leadership be a blessing today.

In many classrooms, grades mix together behavior, effort, and compliance with actual learning. The result is that a report card often tells us less about student understanding than we think.

In Episode 9 of I Demand A Meeting, Jesse and I continue our conversation about improving academics in our schools. In the previous episode, we discussed how classroom design should focus on clarity, mastery, and differentiation. That naturally leads to another question. If learning is the goal, how should schools measure it?

In this conversation, we address some of the challenges with the traditional approach to grading and assessment and explore several shifts that can help grades better reflect actual learning.

1. Separate Behavior from Academic Performance

One of the most common issues in grading is that many gradebooks mix together academic learning with behavior.

Late assignments, participation, effort, or compliance are often blended into a single grade. While these factors may matter for classroom management or student responsibility, they can obscure what a student actually knows and can do academically.

A student who understands the material but submits work late may receive a low grade that suggests weak academic understanding. Another student who is organized and compliant may earn a higher grade despite having gaps in learning.

When this happens, the grade no longer communicates mastery clearly.

A healthier approach is to separate these categories. Academic grades should reflect what students know and can demonstrate in a subject. Behavior and responsibility can still be addressed, but they should be reported separately so families and teachers have a clearer picture of student learning.

Separating these categories also allows teachers to focus more intentionally on feedback. When grades represent learning, teachers can give clearer guidance about what students did well, where they need improvement, and what steps will help them grow.

2. Move Beyond Arbitrary Cut Scores

Another challenge in traditional grading is the reliance on percentage-based scores that often communicate very little about actual understanding.

For example, what does an 84 really mean? Does it indicate strong mastery of most concepts, partial understanding, or several key misunderstandings?

Without clear definitions, percentages can become arbitrary cut scores rather than meaningful communication.

Scoring guides provide a stronger alternative because they clarify expectations and support better feedback. When teachers define levels of mastery such as beginning, developing, proficient, or advanced, students receive clearer insight into their learning.

Scoring guides shift the focus away from simply collecting points and toward understanding performance. They also make feedback more actionable by helping students see what mastery looks like and what steps will help them improve.

3. Allow Grades to Reflect Growth

Traditional grading systems can create what some educators describe as a failure cycle.

A student struggles early in a unit and earns low grades on initial assessments. The student then spends the rest of the grading period trying to recover from those early mistakes. Even if the student eventually learns the material, the grade may never fully reflect that improvement.

A more learning-centered approach treats grades as fluid and updateable.

As students grow and demonstrate new understanding, grades should reflect their current level of mastery rather than permanently penalize earlier misunderstandings. This reinforces the idea that learning is a process.

Homework also fits into this learning cycle. Homework should primarily function as practice. It is a place where students wrestle with concepts, apply prior knowledge, and sometimes struggle. When students are practicing new skills, mistakes are part of the learning process, and practice is often where the deepest learning happens.

Allowing students to struggle in practice gives teachers valuable opportunities to provide feedback and guide students toward understanding before high-stakes assessments occur.

When homework is treated as practice rather than a final judgment, it becomes a tool that supports learning rather than a penalty for not getting everything right the first time.

Final Thought

When grading is done well, it becomes a tool that supports learning rather than discourages it.

Clear expectations, meaningful feedback, and grades that reflect real mastery help students understand where they are and how they can grow.

Ultimately, the goal of our schools is not simply to sort students by percentages. The goal is to help students truly learn, grow in wisdom and knowledge, and develop the skills they will need to flourish in the world God has called them to serve.

When grading and feedback are designed well, they support that mission and help students move forward in their learning.

Here are three ideas that emerged from that discussion.

1. Start With Clarity: What Do We Actually Want Students to Learn?

Schools cannot improve academics without defining success. Many schools have long lists of standards and curriculum goals, yet there is little agreement about which outcomes matter most.

In a Christian school, this clarity goes beyond academics. The outcomes we pursue include spiritual formation, academic growth, and behavioral development. We want students who grow in wisdom, character, and knowledge, which means thinking carefully about the whole child—what students know, how they live, and who they are becoming.

Even within academics, not all standards are equal. Some skills are foundational, and if students do not master them, future learning becomes much harder. Reading fluency, number sense, writing clearly, and critical thinking are examples of these building blocks.

Alignment also matters. When teachers share clear learning targets, expectations become consistent across classrooms and grade levels, helping students understand what mastery actually looks like.

2. Focus on Mastery Over Pacing

One of the most common obstacles in schools is pacing. Teachers often feel pressure to move through the curriculum according to the calendar, finishing units and covering chapters on schedule.

But the calendar should not dictate learning. When students move forward without mastering key concepts, gaps begin to form, and over time those gaps compound. A small misunderstanding in elementary math, for example, can grow into major frustration in middle school algebra.

A healthier mindset is to treat learning as the constant while allowing time to become more flexible. Even small adjustments can make a difference. Teachers can build in review time, use small groups for targeted support, or revisit skills that students have not yet mastered. When this shift happens, the focus moves from asking “Did we cover it?” to asking “Did students actually learn it?”

3. Design the Classroom for Differentiation

Another challenge in many schools is that classrooms are often designed for delivery rather than learning. In the traditional model, the teacher speaks while the entire class listens, an approach that assumes students learn at the same pace and in the same way.

Real classrooms, however, are far more diverse. Students arrive with different strengths, needs, and levels of readiness, and when instruction happens only in one format, some students move ahead while others fall further behind.

Small-group instruction is one of the fastest ways to increase real learning because it allows teachers to adjust pacing, provide targeted feedback, and address misunderstandings early. Station rotation can also provide structure for differentiation, allowing one group to work directly with the teacher while others practice, apply, or discuss the material.

Technology and artificial intelligence can support this work as well. AI tools can help teachers plan lessons for multiple ability levels or generate ideas for scaffolding instruction. Used wisely, these tools do not replace teachers; they simply help teachers design better learning experiences for classrooms filled with students who learn in different ways.

At the heart of all of this is a simple reminder: if we are talking and no one is learning, we are simply talking to ourselves.

Final Thought

If schools want better academic results, the solution is not always harder work. Sometimes the answer is better design. Clear learning targets, a focus on mastery, and classrooms structured for differentiation allow teachers to spend more time doing what matters most: helping students truly learn.

In the next episode, we will turn to grading and assessment, because what we measure ultimately shapes what students value.

Is the academic model we are using today still working?

Schools are filled with dedicated teachers, strong curriculum, and good intentions, but many of the systems we rely on were designed for a different era. The world has changed, students have changed, and expectations have changed, yet the structure of schooling often looks exactly the same.

The issue isn’t a lack of effort. The issue is that the model itself is outdated. Much of traditional schooling was built around efficiency and standardization, not around what we now understand about learning differences, engagement, and long-term growth. Families increasingly expect education to meet the needs of their specific child, not simply deliver the same experience to every student.

One of the biggest weaknesses of the traditional model is that it forces teachers to aim for the middle. When teaching to the middle becomes the default approach, both struggling and advanced students are underserved. Some students fall further behind because the pace moves too quickly. Others disengage because the pace is too slow. Uniformity is often treated as fairness, but it rarely produces equal outcomes.

This is why personalized learning is no longer optional. Personalized learning is not about lowering standards or removing structure. It is about recognizing that students learn differently and may need different pathways to reach mastery. Some need repetition and support. Others need challenge and deeper application. The goal remains the same, but the approach must adapt. Effective teaching requires flexibility, and the best classrooms are the ones where instruction adjusts to the learner instead of forcing the learner to fit the system.

A major theme of our conversation was the importance of feedback. If we want students to grow, feedback must be ongoing, clear, and actionable. Too often, students only receive feedback through grades, and by the time the grade arrives, the learning moment has passed. Real feedback functions like coaching. It helps students understand what they missed, why it matters, and how to improve while the learning is still happening.

This connects directly to another issue we discussed: point chasing. Many students are not pursuing learning, they are pursuing a score. They ask, “Is this graded?” because the system has trained them to value performance over mastery. That mindset weakens long-term learning and often makes students less willing to struggle through difficult concepts. When grades become the goal, students stop taking risks and start doing only what is necessary to protect their average.

If education is truly about growth, then assessment should support growth. Grades should not be treated as a final verdict. They should reflect learning over time. Assessment should guide instruction and help students take the next step toward mastery, not simply measure what they knew on one particular day.

For school leaders, this is an opportunity. Not to chase trends, but to challenge outdated assumptions and rethink what education could be. Tradition has value, but tradition cannot become an excuse to avoid change. The future of education will be shaped by leaders willing to adjust the model and focus on what matters most: whether students are actually learning.

That question matters, but it is not where the real work happens.

This episode shifts from the “why” to the “what now?”

What do we actually do when our kids bring us a struggle with school? How should parents respond? And how can our response strengthen the partnership between families and schools instead of damaging it?

Listen first

When a child comes to you upset about school, the instinct is to fix it. We want quick answers and quick relief. But if we jump straight to solutions, we miss what they need most in that moment. They need to be heard.

We said it in the episode and meant it. Let them get it all out.

That does not mean every claim is accurate. Adolescents exaggerate. They speak emotionally. But underneath the emotion is often something real, and parents need to slow down long enough to hear it.

Struggle is not suffering

One of the most important distinctions we explore is this: struggling is not the same thing as suffering.

Struggle is often the pathway to growth. It builds resilience, perseverance, and maturity. Suffering is different. It may require intervention, protection, or deeper support.

Parents need discernment to tell the difference. When we confuse every struggle with suffering, we train our children to avoid discomfort rather than grow through it.

The daily debrief

We also talked about what we call the daily debrief. This is not an interrogation. It is a consistent habit of checking in with your child at the end of the day. When communication becomes normal, conflict becomes easier to navigate.

Approach schools with inquiry

When problems arise, accusation usually creates defensiveness. Inquiry creates partnership.

Help me understand.
What did you see?
What happened next?

Long-term growth over short-term comfort

If there is one thread that ties this episode together, it is this. We are raising kids to put on the character of Christ. Short-term comfort often leads to long-term weakness. The goal is not to remove every obstacle, but to coach our kids through challenges with wisdom.

When parents and schools function as partners rather than adversaries, children benefit. They learn through struggle without being abandoned in suffering.

That is the real work.

Thanks for listening in this week. Leave a comment or share with a friend!

In this episode of I Demand a Meeting, Jesse and I step into the tension many families and schools are feeling, but few are naming out loud. Trust feels harder to come by than it used to. Authority in education is less clear. And conversations that once started with shared purpose now too often begin with defensiveness.

We talk about how parenting styles have evolved, why parents are more engaged and informed than ever, and how schools are navigating expectations that didn’t exist a decade ago. We also explore how adolescent development complicates communication and why context matters when parents hear concerns directly from their children before schools have a chance to respond.

Most importantly, this conversation pushes back on the idea that parents and schools are on opposite sides. Children don’t need adults competing for control or credibility. They need adults willing to communicate, collaborate, and define together what “best” actually means.

As we say in the episode, it doesn’t work when it becomes adversarial.

If you’re a parent, educator, or school leader trying to rebuild trust and strengthen school culture, this episode is an honest starting point.

🎙 Listen to the full episode of I Demand a Meeting on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.

We had the opportunity to sit down with New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Leonard Sax, to discuss the differences in educating boys versus girls. We also touched on the changes in parenting, and teenage usage of social media and smartphones.

Dr. Leonard Sax has been someone whose work has deeply influenced my own leadership over the years. Books like Boys Adrift and The Collapse of Parenting helped give language to things I was already seeing in schools, classrooms, and families, but maybe couldn’t fully articulate at the time.

In this conversation, we talk honestly about what schools and parents are getting wrong about boys and girls. Dr. Sax walks through the growing reality of boys falling behind academically, why boys and girls learn differently, and how some well-intended educational and parenting practices may actually be working against our kids.

This isn’t a culture-war conversation and of course, not every statement can fully represent every boy or girl. It’s a thoughtful, research-based discussion about child development, classroom practice, parenting, and formation.

Whether you’re an educator, administrator, coach, or parent, I think you’ll find this conversation both encouraging and challenging in all the right ways.

We explore:

• Why boys are falling behind academically

• Key differences in how boys and girls learn

• Why sitting all day hurts boys’ learning

• How competition can motivate boys and girls when structured well

• Strategies to engage boys and girls in reading and mathematics

• The role of parenting, authority, and limits in child development

• Why unrestricted social media access is harming kids

Thank you for listening and sharing this episode! Leave a comment here or on YouTube with your thoughts or questions.

We argue that boys are not inherently problematic, but often mismatched with traditional educational models. This episode focuses on concrete strategies schools can implement right now, including reintroducing movement and physical activity into the school day, embracing healthy competition, establishing clear structures and boundaries, and increasing male presence on campus.

From longer recess and movement breaks, even at the high school level, to gamifying lessons and providing strong male mentors, we explore how schools can create environments where boys are supported, engaged, and challenged to thrive rather than simply comply.

And be sure to stay tuned for Episode 4, where we’ll be joined by an excellent author for a thoughtful and timely conversation on the I Demand a Meeting podcast.

Thank you for listening and sharing!

That question sits at the center of Episode 2 of I Demand a Meeting, where Jesse and I continue the conversation by taking an honest look at why so many boys struggle in today’s schools and what the education system may be getting wrong.

Before diving in, I want to say thank you. The response to our first episode has been incredibly encouraging. In just the first week, Episode 1: The End of Homework? surpassed 9,000 views on YouTube and 10+ hours of watch time, largely through short clips shared across platforms, and we welcomed more than 60 new subscribers. I am genuinely grateful for the support, the messages, and the thoughtful conversations that have already emerged from the pilot episode.

Boys Are Wired Differently (by God’s Design)

In this episode, Jesse and I explore how traits like energy, impulsivity, competitiveness, and physicality, qualities often labeled as problems, are actually central to how boys learn and develop. Too often, modern schooling rewards compliance over creativity and stillness over initiative, leaving many boys feeling misunderstood and disengaged.

Boys tend to thrive when given responsibility, challenge, and purpose. When those needs are not met, many internalize a sense of failure early, not because they lack ability, but because they do not fit the system as it is currently designed.

This conversation is not about lowering expectations or excusing behavior. It is about raising our understanding.

If we want boys to flourish academically and socially, educators and parents must be willing to rethink systems, structures, and incentives and create environments that honor boys’ unique gifts and developmental needs.

Listen In and Share

🎧 Episode 2 is available now on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
If you are a teacher, school leader, or parent, I invite you to listen and to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. These are conversations worth having on our campuses and in our homes.

Overview of Episode 2

Section 1: The Landscape of Boys in Education

Jesse and Jared initiate their conversation by posing a thought-provoking question: “If you asked a group of teachers who their most difficult student has been, how many would describe a boy?” This sets the tone for a candid discussion about the educational experiences of boys. Jared shares alarming statistics, noting that boys make up a staggering 75-80% of all expulsions and suspensions in public schools. This raises the question: Are we failing boys in the educational system?

The evidence shows a clear trend. In private schools, the statistics are similarly skewed, with boys representing the vast majority of disciplinary actions. Jesse highlights that in his years of experience, he can count the number of girls expelled on one hand, indicating a systemic issue that disproportionately affects boys.

Section 2: The Unique Traits of Boys

One of the core discussions revolves around the unique characteristics of boys. Jesse and Jared agree that traits such as impulsivity, energy, and curiosity often lead teachers to label boys as problematic. For instance, boys tend to be more physical and tactile in their learning styles, which can clash with traditional educational methods that prioritize stillness and quiet.

Jared emphasizes the importance of understanding that these traits are not negative but rather part of a boy’s natural development. He encourages educators and parents alike to recognize that boys are designed to lead, work hard, and thrive when their unique needs are met. This perspective reframes the conversation around boys’ behavior, shifting from a focus on discipline to one of understanding and support.

Section 3: The Systemic Challenges

Jesse and Jared dive deeper into the systemic issues within the American educational framework. The traditional model often favors girls, creating an environment where boys feel they do not belong. The podcast discusses how the structure of classrooms—sitting still, following rules, and adhering to a strict curriculum—often stifles boys’ natural tendencies.

They reference historical shifts in educational expectations, noting that the pressure placed on young boys today is significantly higher than in previous decades. This shift leads to negative self-perceptions among boys, who often internalize their struggles as personal failures. Jesse poignantly states that many boys feel like failures not because they lack capability, but because they do not fit the conformist educational mold.

Section 4: The Role of Educators and Parents

The conversation takes a reflective turn as Jesse and Jared discuss the role of educators and parents in nurturing boys’ development. They stress the need for a systemic overhaul that takes into account boys’ unique learning styles and developmental needs. Jared urges educators to reconsider their reward systems, which often favor compliance over creativity, leading to feelings of inadequacy among boys who do not fit the mold.

Furthermore, they highlight the importance of communication and support from both teachers and parents. Boys need encouragement and affirmation that their traits are valuable and that their challenges are recognized and understood. By fostering an environment that celebrates their strengths, boys can thrive academically and socially.

Conclusion: Key Takeaways

In summary, the podcast “I Demand a Meeting” sheds light on the pressing challenges boys face in the education system. It calls for greater awareness among educators and parents regarding the unique needs of boys, emphasizing that traditional educational models may not serve them well. By understanding the traits that make boys unique and advocating for systemic changes, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all students.

Tags: Boys in Education, Challenges in Education, Educational Reform, Understanding Boys, Parenting Boys, Teacher Insights, Education Podcast, Learning Styles, Classroom Management, Educational Statistics